NUTS to You! It's the Squirrels I Tell Ya...

An old high school classmate of mine was recently commenting on the status of a very dead, decomposing Squirrel and as I was checking his Facebook status via my new cellphone/wundermachine I realized that I think I was jealous. Y'see, every couple of years, I have a variety of trees that surround my out-of-the-way home 25 minutes outside of St. Louis, Missouri. It's a short 10 minute shot to "anything" but I'm tucked away in a great little series of hills so that the traffic, the noise of life and the benefit of a one-way road allow some nice peace and quiet - regularly. The trade-out for that peace often comes with fur, feathers or eyes that glow in the dark. Whether it's my legendary tales of Woodpeckers, my watery-interaction with varmints of all kinds or - the raucous Family Squirrel Parties from 4 of the trees on my property, there's always a wild life experience to mingle with the wildlife. This week, the families of squirrels in my yard have been busy. Each and every morning I wake up, shower, prepare for work and head for one of our vehicles to find this picture:


What was a nice, clear, clean area is now once again tarnished with the empty, meatless shells of hazelnuts galore. If there is a piece of a nut you can imagine, it's on my driveway or in my backyard every day, regardless of how efficient a pressure-washer warrior I was the day before. They pluck the nut, the shuck the nut and dig in ravenously to ensure that each and every ounce of nutty goodness is either in their cheeks their tree-bound lairs or - as is presented here, in my driveway - thwarting a little 6-year-olds scooter path. BASTARDS!

And so the afternoon's watery duty begins anew. Brief is my triumphant reclamation of my driveway, because as I pack up each evening to pick up my wife from work - sure enough. There is a new series of nuts and even the smallest house-music playing from the trees above. It's coming from the leafy rooftop penthouses made of woodbark, leaves, branches and the growing bounty of nuts - that literally say "nuts to me" every two years.