How many of you have ever been called - inconsiderate, uncaring, opinionated or tactless?
That's what I thought. You may find this strange, but definitely helpful in finding out what "this time of year" is all about.
While at an eating establishment in my neighborhood, I had completed ordering a sandwich, salad and drinks for my daughter and I and the lady taking my order tells me "I've gotta' head home and take care of my 6 children tonight." I smiled and said "That's terrific - it's a great time of year to appreciate your family and whoo - it's cold tonight, isn't it?"
"What's THAT supposed to mean?", said the mother of 6 angrily.
After instantly donning my Bambi/Innocence mask, I smiled sheepishly and said, "What's what supposed to mean? I asked you if it was cold outside and that it was great to appreciate one's family this time of year?" After sloshing my change to the countertop and rolling her eyes and heading for the proverbial coat rack and tossed my ticket to a coworker and muttered "unbelievable."
Was I on Candid Camera/PUNK'D or something? How on Earth was I standing at the counter of a local eatery, counting my change and somehow feeling "bad" for making friendly, benign conversation? After waiting a moment expecting the camera crew and show host to show up, I realized that I wouldn't end up on a syndicated re-run of a popular television show and headed for the nearest booth. As my daughter and I sat down and waited for our order to arrive, clanging kitchenware sounds emminated from the behind-the-scenes confines - muffled voices providing an underlying inaudible soundtrack for those who happen to be able to hear at that frequency. As we sat down and took off our coats and winterware, I saw the woman exit out the back of the place, who had clearly been crying. The door she used to exit slammed closed like shutters in a strong winter storm.
What on Christmas-time, central-mid-west EARTH was going on here?
A short few minutes later, our food arrived courtesy of the manager who then proceeded to apologize for her employee's bahavior.
Suddenly the strange became stranger.
"Please accept my apologies for (her) behavior. She's got some personal problems at home and I'm sorry that you were the recipient of some inappropriate behavior. She's having her 7th baby in May."
Alright - points for a stand-up manager, but was it REALLY hard to discern what was going on at home for this lady? 6 children, the holidays, needing to take on a job that was probably something she had no interest in doing and of course - another baby on the way. As my reasoning skills began to spin wildy, I then realized: While the inappropriate behavior of the employee was up there on the Wilkerson Gooney-Crap-O-Meter, how even MORE grossly inappropriate was the MANAGER's behavior - in offering up personal information about one of their workers? My inner logic champion was screaming for the floor, but somehow I was able to surppress the need to launch a volley from the big verbal guns and said, "I see. I've no idea what to say to that." As my eyes began to dry, I reached out to grab the food we'd ordered several less-uncomfortable minutes earlier and began what was a delicious meal with my daughter as the manager exited stage left.
Thus, the wheels of logic began to turn again.
Where is the self-control in all of this for any of the players involved?
I have never understood the propensity and "requirement" of people to bestow personal life details on people that - just really don't need to have that kind of information conveyed to anyone, especially a perfect stranger. While I sympathize for the woman who is expecting her 7th child, somehow my wife and I have been able to have one child, and no more yet, because we're not ready both in life experience and - time. While I'd never confront someone in this situation with the condom/abstention/insert something other than humping/having sex argument, the fact is still out there, isn't it? In regard to the manager, while stepping up and taking the "shoulder" for her employee's errant behavior, where is the common-sense understanding that's supposed to be part of the equation when talking about an employee's personal information? The only person in the here, displaying any self-control was ME - for not opening up the big-guns on the situation that was - at best - strange.
All of us know someone, whether it's a friend, a coworker or some other relationship in our lives that continue on this strange even-during-the-holidays tradition of "volunteering-too-much-information" and it's time to offer them all something incredibly valuable. A gift that will hopefully provide them with a gift that will keep on giving and allow them to garner some great life experience and knowledge: the gift of invisible, personal scotch mouth tape. While it's a strange and rarely seen item, it costs very little (the time to offer up an opinion) and can eventually help to change the course of people's lives.
This season is all about helping people and I urge everyone to toss a couple of extra rolls of this magical material and provide it liberally those that mean the most to you during a season that should inspire.
Do you know someone who would benefit from this free, wonderous addition to everyone's personal life toolbox? Chime in here and tell us about it!
