I recently began responding to another article review of the newest "Metallica" album, and - not so strangely, it became a piece that I thought I'd share with others here to include it into my "life's lexicon. Read on below and look for more information and music related reviews over at "SavageScience". They're growing wildly and I encourage you to read them regularly.
In response to the new Metallica album review at
SavageScience.Com I retorted:
"I know you all will be amazed, but I'm going to take a bit of a different direction on my commentary to this article. First, let me say that I was CLEARLY infected by Metallica, courtesy of "Tim" the dude I used to make Pizzas with at DiMarini's, an Italian pizza joint in Milwaukee, Wisconsin back in the early 80's. Tim was "the veteran" on staff, providing us with this stories of Metallica Concert legend, harkening all the way back to the "dark days" when Tim still had vertebrae attached to his spinal cord - you know - before all the head-banging/thrashing.
During his and my evenings at DiMarinis, we would spend the early afternoon thrashing in the basement, preparing pizza crust for the evening, as well as fresh breadsticks that were the stuff of legend. There was not a lyric unknown to us - we were ONE with the throbbing, peppering guitar shrieks that were ground of the raw meat of the hands of Gods.
As the 6pm hour arrived, we cleaned up the basement stage where we would thrash to "thousands of fans" before our evening show - you guessed it - a live show for all to see up-top in the kitchen on "the line" where pizzas came to be TRULY made. Whether it was the fine addition of custom-made sausage direct from the magical chefs, the pie with extra sauce that danced like scarlet gold form our ladels, or a sea of pepperoni that lined each and every inch of our lunchtime 12-inch pizzas, we were the majestic metal duo that would truly rock the proverbial house.
When I eventually made plans to go to college after I graduated high school, Tim and I had a special entire-week show, highlighted by the release of "And Justice For All" - an album that truly spoke to many people and heralded still some of the rage-vibe that he and I held deep inside. That last week of chest-thumping dough and pizza creation were truly ones to remember - complete with a "Pizza Dough Guy Sacrifice", courtesy of Tim, the man who is SURELY still wearing jeans and has that same "Ride the Lightning" T-shirt on as I write this now 20+ years later. That's right:
Tim made up a little Pizza Dough Guy, complete with arms, legs, oversized head, and guitar: The coup de gras? He had made the chest of the dough guy hollow, and filled it with crimson pizza sauce, so that when he was sacrificed that evening in honor of a soldier moving on (me), he would even squirt "blood" wen diced by our favorite pizza cutter. Ha!
He made a special pizza crust for both of us that evening from "Pizza Dough Soldier", along with that same legion of pepperoni and extra cheese that had graced our silver 12-inch platters for so may moons and I will never forget it, Tim, or the evenings we spent BEING those riders in black, tripping the guitars fantastic.
"What the hell does this have to do with the review, Mike?"Well, it's simple: I've watched Metallica move along into a completely different realm of "being a band" just as I've become and continue to morph into someone completely different with my writing, podcasting skills, and being a parent. To expect Metallica to be "the same band", or ever be able to capture the "same spirit" as they did in genius periods so many years ago, is at best completely unrealistic. But there is a bar to "meet" that St. Anger didn't even tickle.
To put a quick bow on it, I'll be happy and jazzed to listen and even write about this new album, but for me - there was only ONE Pizza Dough Guy-Level Moment for me, and that was the day I rocked with a co-airband member to the march of every single Metallica song for 2 long summers with a guy named Tim, who knew how to - in his own way, honor the passing of good things.
/me takes a bite of pepperoni pizza, grabs another invisible 6-string and begins the march for Ride the Lightning... With a lot less headbanging..."
Previews/Commercials Captioned: I remember specifically participating in the Discovery forum (online discussion boards, whatever we're calling them now) back when the show started. As I viewed new episodes with my wife who is Deaf, I would construct what was the precursor/original version of what was the Caption Hunt Reviews and talk about how - while Mythbusters was a great show, it wasn't captioned. After 5 great episodes, we suddenly found ourselves bathed in delicious captioning, courtesy of The Discovery Channel. While I can't directly claim responsibility for the eventual captioning of the show, I can claim that I made a difference in showcasing mine and my wife's zeal for watching the show, but WISHING TERRIBLY that it was captioned. And so it happened. Nowadays, The Discovery Channel is one of the best places on the television dial to trust that there will be glorious captioning waiting for you to detail what you see. The commercials during this episode were all captioned.
